


Artemis Fowl: The Ardagh Chalice

by seleenermparis



Category: Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-09-28 01:08:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20417366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seleenermparis/pseuds/seleenermparis
Summary: At the end of The Eternity Code, Artemis arranged for future business enterprises with Mulch Diggums. Once again, his business pursuits will cross paths with the LEP Recon, particularly one officer named Captain Holly Short. This time, she is in need of his assistance. Spoilers: Books 1-3 and  editing for flair. There is a rather large probability the rating will have to go up.





	1. The Great Change

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Eoin Colfer, God bless that Irish man, owns all legal rights, lefts, and hair follicles belonging to the Artemis Fowl Series. I am just borrowing them for non-profit use to entertain my sick and twisted imagination. Please keep my name, the disclaimer, and synopsis attached when archiving. Thank you for your cooperation.

**The Lower Elements, near Haven City**

Surprisingly despite being so close to the core of the planet, the jail cells belonging to the Lower Elements Police were rather chilly. Not to the point where the convicts being held there were slowly freezing to death, but not the usual warm temperatures normally associated with being below ground. Some fairy psychiatrists say keeping temperatures down helps sedate the general population. Their theory is based on hibernation. Artemis Fowl would later document their theories and their psychiatrists to be just a bunch of "gobshite from a bunch of headers" as the typical Irishmen would put it. Or at least that was the generalization of it. 

But our story doesn't begin with that particular criminal mastermind. It does however begin with a criminal. 

Mulch Diggums lay in his jail cell cot listening for anything that could have been an indication to an officer coming toward his cell to release him back into the unsuspecting Lower Elements. He was there due to a "minor" accusation from the Lower Elements Police in which they really did not have any real evidence to accuse him. It wasn't his fault that sprite's wallet was just practically jumping out of his back pocket and when it did fall out, he was just picking it up to give it back to him. Yes. That was it.

He had been good to his promise to the Mud boy and now it was time for him to collect his reward. Mulch grinned knowingly as the sounds of footsteps climbed the stairwell and made their way toward his cell. His lawyer must have arrived and set the record straight.

"Up, you," The Lower Elements Police officer commanded and Mulch Diggums obliged.

"Now, Grub, is that anyway to speak to a free man?" Mulch cheeked. "I thought your mother taught you better."

"That's Lieutenant Kelp to you, convict."

"Oh, and I suppose if I don't call you that you're going to tell your mummy or big brother on me?" Mulch rolled his eyes. "They can't do anything about it."

"No, but I can." A familiar feminine voice called to him as the female LEP Recon officer joined them. Captain Holly Short stood in front of him, looking paler than her normal.

"Ah, Holly, it is good to see you again! Is Julius with you? It then could be just like old times, you know; you, me, him, that Mud boy, and his bodyguard."

Holly Short grew paler, if that were possible, at the mention of Artemis Fowl. "It's not possible, Diggums. He and his entire gang of criminals have been mind-wiped. If the mind wipe had not taken affect, we would have heard from him by now. Come on, your discharge papers are being processed and I wouldn't want to keep you from getting out, now would I."

"Captain Short, how does a fairy from LEP Recon get demoted to jail duty? Tell me again, because even I cannot seem to find the connection." Mulch threw at her and he knew she was trying to restrain herself from lashing out at him. "I mean, the council should be thanking you with all that work you have done for them on the whole Artemis Fowl cases. Did you do something to upset them?"

Holly reached for her buzz baton, but Lieutenant Kelp restrained her from withdrawing it.

"He's not worth it loosing your badge, Holly."

Holly relaxed her stance, but swayed a little. "Why don't you take him to processing? I think I need to sit down for a little while."

"Are you going to be okay?" Grub asked as he looked into her eyes and noticed she clearly was not. "You don't look so well."

"I'll be fine. I'm probably just dehydrated." She tried to smile despite her growing annoyance. "Just escort him down to processing already."

"Alright," Lieutenant Kelp decided it was best not to fight with the Captain and escorted the prisoner down to the processing division. He hesitated when he reached the top of the stair well as Mulch began his decent. Although, he was not entirely sure his Captain was as what she said she was, he decided to check up on her later to make sure.

Holly staggered slightly after Lieutenant Kelp had descended the stairwell into the now empty jail cell to lie down on the empty cot. _"D'Arvit! Why did this have to happen now?"_ She complained to herself full knowing what her physical problems were.

Once a female elf turned at least 60 years of age and began showing symptoms of the change, she had to procreate. Not just can, but had to. Every twenty years. In order to do so, she must complete a series of rituals with her intended mate of which her parents would have chosen for her. If the rituals had not been completed with in an allotted 2 weeks, the female fairy would die. This is why most of the female fairies often opted to mate as soon as possible. Not only their mates could find better work, but also they could dissuade falling over dead suddenly. 

Captain Short sighed, she had once been betrothed to a fine elf when she was younger, but ever since her father died; her contract with the said fairy had long been terminated. Since Holly did not have a contract with anyone, the chances of her finding a suitable match were slim to nothing and since the only time frame of knowing when she would go through (what was called as roughly translated to Human tongue) "The Metamorphosis" would depend on her mother. The actual change would vary from fairy to fairy depending how soon their mothers went through it, but her mother had died before doing so. Which meant Holly hadn't a clue when it would be her turn because her mother had taken multiple mates in her lifetime. The book had guidelines to follow and since she was a fairy, she had the thing memorized, but she did not think it would have happened this late in her lifetime, as she was in her 80's. There had been rare reports from small groups of fairies, mostly radicals, in which they described not being able to go into the Metamorphosis for various reasons. One of which their bodies didn't emit the hormone needed to jump-start the process. Holly had begin to wonder if she was one of those fairies. The universe had decided she was wrong.

Holly sighed and slowly sat up on the cot, letting the dizzy sensation subside. There was no way she could afford to let her superiors know about the happenings going on inside of her body. Not only could it have her kicked out of Recon for good, it would be very embarrassing to admit to Commander Root. The Metamorphosis was better kept a secret for now and she would not tell him or anyone until it became apparent she could no longer be fit for duty.

_"I'd better go and perform the Ritual."_ Holly sighed as she stood up and headed down the twisting, metal stairs to the lower level of the prison. _"Only the spirits will know how much my body is going to need it."_

_ ** ***** _

_**Oxford, England** _

Artemis Fowl the second was no ordinary seventeen year old and this was something which was noticed by anyone who met him for the first time. First, he was the heir to billions of dollars in gold in various Swiss banks, which made him quite famous among the ladies. He had also grown quite handsome in the past few years under the instruction of his personal bodyguard Butler helping him tone his muscles to allow him to defend himself on his own somewhat and this also made him popular among the ladies. None of which he batted an eyelash at. No none of those "fangirls", as the general public called them, would do even remotely for a possible partner. 

Among these things, nothing was more prominent then what Artemis Fowl could achieve inside and out of the classroom. After all, he was a genius and to dissuade anyone who knew of him of this fact was madness for all he continued to baffle any test either a doctor or a professor threw at him. For the past few years, he had been studying college level work at his school of Saint Barthleby's School for Young Gentlemen in the county of Wicklow in Ireland; however, since the schools academics could no longer challenge him, the school allowed him to graduate ahead of his class as Valedictorian. He was now enrolled at a new school across the channel at a school where in it he was out witting even the most of the Professors whom he met. The young man rolled his eyes at the thought. Going to Oxford was a waste of time. They should just hand him his diplomas and be done with it.

Rain pattered against the window, like any other typical day in England. The let up was no where in sight if one took into account for the color of grey in the clouds. The rhythmic pattering on the window would have normally lulled the man into a sleepy trance, but a knock came onto the door of Artemis' study. The Fowl heir pretended he didn't hear it. After another knock and a rattle of the door with the keys, in stepped Butler with his younger sister in tow. He didn't look up from his work which he was pouring over on his desk. "I take it my mother sent the both of you."

"Artemis, just come home. A lot of work went into this and I think your mother would love to see you once and a while." Butler pleaded with him. "Your mother hasn't seen you since you left and that was several months ago. I know your father is missing you, although he'd probably never admit it since he has buried himself in his investments since you have left."

"Father's investments have caused the family fortune to extensively diminish." Artemis commented as he typed on his computer to finish working on the latest additions to his assignments (the ones not even due for another four months). "Not to mention I am busy with school work, so I think I won't have the pleasure of being bored with idle small talk. I simply have too much to do."

"Artemis, it's your birthday party! Not to mention the weekend, why on earth are you doing homework?" Juliet blurted. "You can't miss your own birthday!"

Artemis stared at her blankly. Juliet did not know if it was because he was thinking of a sarcastic response or if he were shocked, anyone would be throwing him a party. He looked back at the screen and began typing again. "I haven't really had a birthday party since I was two and I cannot say I want one anytime soon. So if you will excuse me, I have business to take care of."

Juliet looked at Butler and nodded. He nodded a response to her and as if Artemis was a child's plastic toy, he lifted the young man by the shirt collar away from his computer. Artemis immediately began protesting to let him down, but Butler and Juliet had other plans. "You are going to join your parents for your birthday celebration," Butler began, "otherwise you will have to take it up with the both of us."

"I thought I was paying you." He spat once the threesome left the apartment.

"Technically, your parents are paying me, sir." Butler sat his charge down onto the seat and Juliet quickly jumped in after him. "I wouldn't do this if it wasn't important."

"Important to whom?"

"Your mother. You know, the one who birthed you. Gave you life?" Juliet looked at him as her pulled the Bentley out of the driveway. "Considering the amount of pain she was in when she gave you life, you kind of owe her."

"You weren't there."

"I've seen the videos."

"Like the actual videos?"

"No, you eejit." She rolled her eyes. "Birthing videos. It's one of the things we Butlers are trained for...just in case. I figured you'd know all of that. Why, are there videos of Mrs. Fowl giving birth to you? I think I want to see those."

"There are." Butler called over his shoulder to the backseat, "and I was there. Since day one."

"OOOO! I want to see them!" Juliet declared as she watched Artemis turn various colors of the rainbow. 

Upon seeing his charge, Butler chuckled. "That would be a hard no."

_ ** ***** _

**Fowl Manor**

Once Artemis arrived at his childhood home, his father's bodyguard greeted him at the door and escorted the trio to the party location. It was an area which was once the Great Hall of the castle which stood there, but it was in ruin. Angeline was determined to rebuild it before Artemis' graduation, but it was only in planning stage. Stringed lights in the trees were dancing in the breeze as the sun began to set in the horizon. They had been fortunate the day had proven to be a dry day to allow them to have the party outside. 

Mr. and Mrs. Fowl greeted them and several hundred other people mostly the Senior Fowl's new business associates. A full orchestra had been ordered and as he walked in was playing "Happy Birthday".

"What's going on?" Artemis feigned his surprise at the presence of the crowd, once he had kissed his mother's cheeks. Then growled annoyed into his mother's ear, only loud enough for his parents could hear him. "I thought I had asked you not to throw me a birthday party."

"Party? What Party?" Artemis senior played innocent as he gave his son a shrug. "Just because I have a whole bunch of friends and their families over and it just so happens to fall on the seventeenth anniversary of your birth doesn't mean that this is a party for you."

Artemis junior rolled his eyes at his father's pathetic excuse. "Nice try."

"You really are a genius aren't you, my boy." Artemis senior just chuckled. His son just smiled at his father knowingly as he escorted his son a way from the party for a moment. "But there is something I need to talk to you about now that you have come of age. I should have said something a little sooner than this, but what can I say…"

"Father if you are talking about sex, I already know about it." Artemis the II had his turn to chuckle. "Butler told me when I was ten after I began reading more into Anatomy and Physiology. I had inquired to him about the topic and he was a little reluctant about telling me about it, but he did eventually tell me."

"So you know all about it, then." Artemis the I, from his son's point of view, was either relieved or disappointed (or both) about telling his son the facts of life. "So you do know you are now able to give consent to have…intercourse…with a girl…I mean, the partner of your choice."

"Don't worry, father, I do to intend on carrying on the family name. I; however, have not been able to find a suitable partner as of this moment in time." Artemis admitted. "I hope to soon remedy that."

Artemis senior smiled and pulled something out of his pocket. He took his son's hand and placed it in the palm of his hand. "This is for when you do find the girl." Artemis junior nodded in understanding and the boy took out his wallet. He slipped the condom into the back compartment and then placed it back into his pocket. "Now let's get back to the party otherwise your mother will come looking for us."

After the party was over and the guests had left, Artemis climbed the stairwell to head to his bedroom to be alone for a little while. He booted up the hard drive of his lap top computer and plugged in his earphones while he played a compact disk on his cd player. As of recent days, he had a particular liking of certain "classical" pieces such as the "Suite from the Faery Queen" by Purcell and the music from "Nutcracker" by P.I. Tchaikovsky. It wasn't that Bach didn't strike his interest as it did along with any others, but those particular pieces called to him and reminded him of something he couldn't quite remember.

Not remembering why he was drawn to those pieces frustrated Artemis Fowl. It was if something or someone was purposefully blocking those memories. Butler and Juliet also had missing segments of their memories such as why Butler's body did not seem to be able to do as much as he use to anymore (even Artemis senior and Angeline Fowl noticed this). Why Juliet had no longer wanted to join the ranks of the Butler family to be one of the Fowl's bodyguards and instead decided to work hard in school to become a doctor. "I want to help bring forth life rather than destroy it." She had admitted once to him and as much as Butler would have loved his sister to follow his example, he had agreed it probably was not for her.

Artemis began typing up his latest thoughts down in his diary as a knock on the door interrupted him. Butler's voice floated into his ears as the boy genius refrained from looking upward from his computer screen. "Artemis, there is a man down stairs who says it is rather urgent."

"Oh?" Artemis rolled his eyes and continued typing his thoughts down. His latest theories would soon prove to be just that.

"He says he knows why we are missing parts of our memories. He knew my real name and say he has something he needs to give back to you." Butler smiled at the reaction his employer showed as Artemis' head flew upward. "Shall I bring him upstairs?"

_** *****_


	2. The Strange Visitor

**Fowl Manor**

Artemis Fowl descended the stairs to the foyer where he was greeted a very scruffy short man. The man reminded him of stories he heard once of hermits living in caves, living only with their wits. His visitor's clothing was dirty and torn. His beard was filled with things Artemis didn't want to imagine and his hair was the same. His large teeth, despite being blunt, were intimidating. Artemis knew he could trust him on the spot. This man was also the first to speak. "Well, Mud boy, you certainly have grown since the last time I saw you."

"Mud boy? Have we met before?" Artemis questioned.

"Just slightly over two years ago. Don't you remember? With the fairies and such?"

"The fairies?" Artemis asked now definitely confused. "Sir, I think you are slightly mistaken myself with someone else."

The dwarf-sized man sighed and leaned over to talk to Butler as if they were best friends. "I thought of all the mud people you would have escaped the mind wipe and the mesmer, if you couldn't no way that anyone else could."

"A mind wipe? You think we were brain washed?"

"And I thought you were smarter than to believe that! Foaly would have probably would have just laughed at that statement and say something like "the mind isn't just something you can open like a book and erase!"."

"You said you had something to return to me. What is it?" Artemis grew impatient with the short, dirty man.

"Oh, yeah, this." The dwarf man dug into his pockets and retrieved a necklace with a small, round pendant. The pendant dangled from a gold coin of some sort. He handed the boy the necklace and stepped back.

Artemis looked at it briefly and absent mindlessly said. "Holly."

The dwarf nodded. "You remember her. I guess she made a bigger impression on you than we all thought."

Artemis took a closer look, turned around, and ran upstairs. Butler followed behind him along with the dwarf. Butler took a moment to ask him. "What's your name, again?"

"Mulch Diggums. Nice that I made such an impression on you too."

At the office door, Artemis called to Butler. "Where is Juliet?

"She's upstairs with your parents. Something about college."

"Go get her and bring her here. This is important." Artemis commanded then turned to the dwarf. "Where did you get this?"

"You gave it to me and told me once I return it to you, you would give me a reward. The fairies was going to mind wipe you, the big guy, and the girl because you knew too much about them." Mulch followed Artemis into the study and the young genius booted his laptop and opened the CD drive.

Artemis took the pendant off the chain and placed it into the computer. He opened the files from the disk and began reading them one at a time. Once Artemis looked up, he noticed the dwarf's confused expression. "It's a computer disk I asked you to take care of for me. Obviously, I knew I could not escape the mind wipe, but my knowledge of the fairy world could."

Mulch said nothing, but his expression clearly read: "Oh."

"What did you need, Artemis?" Juliet asked as she opened the door so she and her brother could enter.

"Shut the door. I don't think my parents would appreciate what I have just learned about what has happened in the past few years with out their knowledge."

***

**The apartments above Spud's Spud Emporium, **

**Haven City**

  
Holly Short fell back on her bed at home, as she was sent home because she was not feeling well. This had been a first for her, being sent home from work that is, and she did not know what normal fairies did on an afternoon. Squinting because the lights in her apartment were too bright, Holly decided a soothing bubbling slime pool was in order. Just as she had climbed into the green bath sludge and began soaking in it, her communicator on her helmet went off. Holly rolled her eyes and decided to ignore it. It was probably just Grub checking up on her.

As the rings continued, she began to grow irritated with him "D'Arvit! What do you want, Kelp?" Holly asked as she grabbed a towel and ran to get the helmet. The tapped the controls and opened the communications link. "What?"

The face of Commander Root appeared before her. "That's no way to greet your superior officer, Captain Short."

"Sorry, I thought you were Lieutenant Kelp."

The commander took a moment to look at her attire. "You're not at the jail are you?"

"I went home early, sir." Holly said, quickly thinking of an excuse she could have used with out going into too much detail. "I am at home in the middle of a bath."

"Well, get dressed. You are needed at headquarters. We have a situation that could use your expertise."

"My expertise, sir?" Holly asked, now confused.

"I will divulge into more detail as soon as you get here. The situation is a little sensitive and actually should not be not disclosed to you over this not so secure line."

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

"And Captain,"

"Yes, Commander."

"Don't worry about drying your hair." The commander terminated the link and Holly rolled her eyes. Holly went into her bedroom, put on a clean uniform and began to head toward Lower Elements Police headquarters. As she ran the length of the street to headquarters, Holly bundled her quickly growing long red hair into a loose ponytail.

The side effects of the Metamorphosis depended on the stage and as the stages progressed, they snow balled. First: Exhaustion, fading color of the skin, and irritability. Second: Dizzy spells and hair very quick hair growth. Third: excessive sweating, dark circles, and progressive nausea. In the late part of the third stage, physical body begins to shut down. Four: Death.

Once she entered headquarters, several other members of the LEP greeted her. "Hey, Short, no time no see!"

"Hey Holly."

"Good afternoon, sir."

Holly ignored all of them as she practically ran down the hallway and through the security doors of the recon section of Headquarters. She opened the door to the briefing room and found Commander Julius Root and the Lower Elements Police technical adviser a centaur named Foaly. "I see you finally wanted to join us, Captain. Take a seat and we will begin."

Captain Short took the only seat available, at the left side of Commander Root. All eyes followed her movements as she took her seat and watched Commander Julius Root debrief his officers. Once she realized everyone in the room including the commander was eyeing her, she turned pink. "Do I have something on my uniform?"

"Are you feeling okay?" Instead of Commander Root, it was the centaur technological junkie, Foaly, which interjected.

"Yea, I'm fine. Let's get on with it." Holly affirmed as he gazed went from the half horse to her commander. "What's the situation, Commander?"

"As you all know, there has been an outbreak in smuggling stolen mud people goods into Haven and selling them on the black-markets. Unfortunately, something priceless was stolen." Commander Root paused as he walked toward the computer screen behind him. The image of a bowl like cup appeared on the screen. It's silver enamel, gold, and gilt bronze shined in the light. "This is the Ardagh chalice. Its usually housed in the mud men's Museum of Ireland in Dublin unfortunately, it was stolen last night."

"Commander, I'm sorry, but I don't see why this is significant enough to involve us." Trouble Kelp offered his opinion to the assembled group. "It's a mud men matter."

"Because, Kelp, they had used fairy technology."

"Not to mention, " Foaly interrupted again, " if you remember anything from history in school the Ardagh chalice was a gift to the mud people as means of a peace offering to unify the two species. It was made by some of the finest dishware makers in all of the people: Flicker and Glint. Instead of just giving it them outright, a radical resistant to the chalice buried it in a potato field in the county of Limerick. It wasn't even found by the mud men until 1868 since this radical didn't leave a note to let them know where it was. They just found it one day laying in a field."

"Any suspects as to who stole it?" Holly almost cringed at the name the Commander had rolled off his tongue.

"At this point in time the only suspect we have is Artemis Fowl."

"Of course it is." Holly growled to herself.

"May I protest, Commander, " Trouble Kelp offered. "Artemis Fowl's mind has gone through a mind-wipe. There is no way he would have known about the fairy technology or anything about the people."

"As it may, he is the only one qualified to bypass the mind-wipe with some great scheme of his." The commander swerved to face Holly Short. "Captain, you are to stake out the Fowl home for a few days. You are after all the "Expert" on Artemis Fowl. See what you can come up with. Hack into his computers if you have to. Are you running hot?"

"Yes, sir."

"For real this time?"

Holly blushed, knowing he was referring to the original incident involving the mud boy. "Yes, sir."

"Good. Get your gear. All of you are dismissed." The commander stood up at this remark and burst out of the room at a determined stride. He hesitated a moment at the door, trying to decide if he should say something to his subordinate. Perhaps once she returned from her mission, he'd pull her aside.

Holly followed close behind him and Foaly stopped her down the hallway. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, Foaly." She tried to sound convincing.

"No you're not." The centaur glanced down the busy hallway then turned back to his friend. "Come to my office. I need to get you suited up anyway. We'll talk there." Holly nodded and followed him into the entrance of the Foaly Laboratory.

***

Once inside the lab, the Centaur locked the door behind them to his office to keep their conversation private from his assistants. "What's going on?"

"It's nothing."

"Like hell it's nothing. I know you're not dumb. Holly, you do realize I can recognize the Metamorphosis when I see it."

"It's nothing." She insisted.

"Your practically the same color as a piece of white marble. Your hair use to be much shorter. You have sweat dripping from your brow." He took a moment to take a towel and patted it dry for her. "I can't say your temper is even either."

"So I'm irritated Root decided to pull me from my slime bath, I ran here, and decided to grow my hair out. So what?"

"So what? Holly. This is serious. You're body is screaming for you to have a sapling already. If you don't soon, you will die. Not if: when. Does your mate know?"

She picked the imaginary lint off of her uniform sleeve as she stumbled in a whisper, "I don't have one."

"What did you say?"

She growled and exclaimed louder, "I don't have one! There. Happy?"

"Happy? Seriously? Holly, you're going to have to find one. And fast."

"It's easier said than done, Foaly."

"What about Kelp?"

"Eww. Grub? Frond no."

"No, I meant Trouble. You two have a bit in common and to my knowledge he doesn't have a contract with anyone yet. There isn't one in his records anyway."

"Trouble is a friend. Not sure if he wants to be stuck with me for the rest of his life."

"He's a friend who probably won't want to see his friend die suddenly. Especially when it's preventable."

The female sighed, defeated. "Look, I'll talk to him when I get back. Right now, I have this mission to do."

"It better be right after the mission. You're going to be mostly topside for the better part of a week. You don't have much time left, Holly."

"I know. If anyone out there knows, Foaly, it's me."

"As for now, I'll need to adjust the monitoring sensors to compensate for your vitals. I don't want alarms going off the whole time during this mission. That's just down right annoying." He unlocked the door to the office and the duo went out into the main lab to make the adjustments required. 

*****


	3. The Ardagh Chalice

_ **The Lower Elements Holding Facility** _

_ **Haven City** _

Opal Koboi wasn't in a very good mood. Then, again, as of late, this mood of hers was her constant companion. She paced the floor of her cell like a caged tigress; impatient for her visitor. It had to be the imprisonment in general; she never liked listening to others. To her, they often jabbered like an idiot.

She was waiting for her lawyer to arrive, or at least this was his cover. In actuality he was one of the many followers which were still loyal to her. When the muffled clanking of the sound of shoe on metal came, a grin spread on her face like a cat that just caught it's pray.

"Koboi, you have a visitor." Lieutenant Grub Kelp said as he opened the cell door. He allowed the man who was with him to enter then he quickly shut the door.

"What's the rush? Afraid I am going to lead a revolt of these thick headed prisoners?"

"Not really." Grub admitted as he locked the cell door. "Ten minutes, Mr. Rates. If you need anything, there is a guard posted down the hall."

When Kelp walked away, Opal eyed the new comer. "Do you have it?"

"Impatient aren't we? I am not going to get a nice "Hello, Pi! How are you?" am I?" Opal Koboi rolled her eyes at him then he continued. "Of course not, but I guess I shouldn't expect so much from a hardened criminal such as yourself. That would have been the civilized thing to do and we all know how evil geniuses may know what a quadratic equation is but can't figure out something as simple as etiquette."

"Everyone knows what the quadratic equation is you troll." Opal grew more irritated with the man. She wanted to wring his neck, but the thoughts of the chalice kept her from doing so. "Do you have then or not?"

"What do you think?" Pi Rates opened his trench coat, which was approximately twice the size he needed, and produced a file which was strapped to his belt. He took it off his belt and opened it. Opal practically drooled at the sight of it. The image on the cover was a picture of the silver chalice sitting on a counter. "Is this what you want?"

"Give me that you dolt." Opal snatched it away. Pi kept a firm grip as she tugged. Once she realized he wasn't letting go, she stopped pulling it.

He offered out his palm, wanting his reward. "Where is it?"

"You have to get me out of here to get it, remember? It was part of the deal." Opal growled.

"Yes, but that was until I realized how much you actually want this." He tapped his palm. "Let's say for about 600 more should about do it."

"600!" Opal yelled then lowered her voice when it echoed among the halls. She approached him threateningly and then pointed a finger into his chest "I'm not paying you a cent more, got it? We made a deal and you're going to stick with it other wise I will have to dispose of you. Trust me; you won't like what I'll in store for you."

Pi gulped. He had been there the last time she had 'dispose' of someone. Not something he wish to repeat. "One more day and half the jury will be completely under your control and you'll be let off."

"They'd better be, Pi, otherwise you'll find yourself minus an important appendage. I'll leave it to you which one."

"Perhaps I should go and make absolutely sure everything goes as planned." He shifted as he collected himself back together.

"Excellent idea," Opal affirmed as the sound of Grub Kelp's shoes moved back toward her cell. Quickly, she slipped the image of the chalice into the hallowed part behind a loose brick of the wall behind her cot.

"Times up," He commanded as he began to unlock the cell. With out a word, Pi exited the cell and Grub escorted him down the stairs.

Opal smirked as she glanced over to the direction of where the image of the chalice was hidden. Revenge was always a dish which should be served cold.

***

_ **National Museum of Ireland** _

_ **Dublin, Ireland.** _

Artemis Fowl decided taking Mulch into a museum was a bad idea if they had wanted to go inconspicuous. However, with Mulch giving his opinion of every other item in the show cases gave Artemis the cover of being just another tourist.

In reality he was in search of clues as to how the Ardagh Chalice was stolen. Annoyed that someone stole the chalice before he did, Artemis punched the button on his digital camera harder than what was really necessary.

When Butler saw this, he leaned over and asked, "You okay?"

"Just annoyed," he admitted, "where is Mulch?"

"Over in the other room. He mentioned he was surprised the mud people had some ancient Gnomish in their collection."

"He's probably referring to the Ogham samples. They're not in Gnomish. Gnomish is closer to Egyptian in nature rather than Ogham." Artemis moved on to the next item on display. 

"Why are we spending an eternity looking at this exhibit when the one we want is thru that door?" Butler leaned over and whispered.

"Because I need time to use the scanner I made from the fairy technology. It's a sensitive scanner and it has to be with in 100 feet of the chalice display for about 3 minutes to get a proper scan. It would look mighty suspicious if I was standing a real long time in front of the one exhibit and not in front of the others when the item I was standing in front of was the item stolen." Artemis pulled out his PDA and began turning it on. "The scanner is in what use to be my old PDA. My plan is to take a scan and analyze it once we get back to the manor."

"You don't think the constables would have left the chalice case in the display room when it's still under investigation do you?"

"Of course not; it's more than likely in the room behind the display room. A prep room you could call it. They would have to pull it off the floor as much as they could to do their investigation. The pedestal it sits on would be anchored to the floor and they would not be able to move it. They would of course put a dummy in the case and replace the glass until they could actually get the chalice back."

"So you're hoping to get something off the pedestal. Aren't you afraid of after the lifting of the fingerprints they would have cleaned it?" Butler commented as he glanced over at the room in question.

"Not during a criminal investigation. Although, if the prints match up to whom I believe it will match up with we, both the mud people and the fairies, are in for trouble."

Butler nodded as the duo moved to the next exhibit which was when the body guard noticed a distortion a head. He leaned closer to his charge and whispered. "We're being followed."

"Actually, we've been followed for the past few days. I am rather surprised it took you this long to figure it out. You must be loosing your touch, my friend. Don't worry though." He turned down a secluded hallway adjunct the larger room where he turned to the distortion was. He smiled and pulled the cam foil off. "We don't have to worry at all do we, Holly?"

Holly appeared as she crossed her arms in mild protest. "How did you know…"

"That you were here? The cam foil doesn't make the person invisible, remember? As for the fact I can remember you, I must reveal nothing. As most illusionists say "A magician doesn't reveal his secrets."

"In other words, Holly, he could tell you but then he would have to kill you afterwards." Mulch offered as the grungy man rejoined the group.

Holly rolled her eyes at him. "Getting back to the reason you were here…"

"The L.E.P. thinks I stole the chalice. Although as to why they think the chalice was important enough for them to care is another story."

"The chalice was an offering to the mud men by the fairies for peace. It is inscribed with the names of the mud men who were willing to promote peace; however, it was never delivered to the mud men directly. A revolutionist hid the chalice in a potato field where it was found in Limerick." Holly paused, not sure if she should divulge the next bit of information. "The person who stole it uses fairy technology. They used it to take the chalice."

"That explains why the L.E.P thinks you stole it. You've stolen technology from them before." Mulch offered.

"Well it wasn't me. Someone else beat us to it."

"Well, genius, you have to know who did then."

"I don't have any solid evidence yet, but I do have a few hunches. I'll let you know if I have anything more solid." Artemis hoped it would not only satisfy her but her superiors who were obviously listening to the conversation through Holly's helmet.

When she didn't respond right away, he knew she was having a conversation with her superiors and they wanted more information. Artemis hoped he was going to be able to do it on his home turf on his own terms. "I take it Julius wants you to come back with me to the manor so I can do my analysis."

Holly groaned. "Actually, he wants you to come down and give everything to Foaly. He thinks with the both of you on the job this can get resolved quickly."

"How are we going to get down there?" Butler asked, escorting the four of them out of the exhibit. "I am going to guess through regular channels is out of the question."

"You guessed right." Holly admitted as they exited the building. "That's where Mulch comes in handy."

"Me? Why me?"

"If there is anyone who knows where the illegal entrances and exits to the Lower Elements are it is you." Holly admitted as much as she hated to admit it.

Mulch sighed as he took a seat in the Fowl Bentley. "What did I just get dragged into."

***

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Edit (12/2/07): Sorry guys. I had to edit this particular chapter due to someone pointed out to Neppyman in Ireland the age of consent is actually 17. So Artemis got another birthday. So technically he would not be underage.
> 
> Author's Edit (8/27/2019) : Finally decided to move my stuff from FF.net over here. This is going to be a long process. I will be editing and tweaking the stories as it goes along. With possibly having to change the rating because well, it gets fun. I finally feel confident enough to attempt some Mature and Explict writing, so we will see where that goes. 
> 
> Fun fact: Neppyman, the writer of the original companion piece The Metamorphosis, is now my husband. We were married in 2012. That wasn't exactly planned when we first wrote the stories. The originals are still posted on fan fiction dot net. You can read them, but only if you want spoilers. Most of the writer's notes from that time frame were not included in this posting.


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